Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Dear Oregon: It's not you, it's me

Hey there, Oregon. I've been wanting to talk to you for awhile, but you know how these things go with our crazy schedules and just not getting the time. I've decided to write you a letter, but know that I totally wanted to tell you all this in person. This has to be said, and quickly, and I'm afraid that if I don't write it now then I'll never get the courage to tell you.

I think we should see other people.

Our relationship has had its ups and downs - I don't have to tell you that - but when I look back at all our time together, I just can't help but see lots and lots of downs. And tears. In fact, you cried for 10 1/2 of our 12 months together. I don't think there's anything you can say to convince me that you were happy in all that time. I tried to turn to you to talk, but you gave me the cold shoulder for six solid months. It wasn't until mid-July that you started to warm up to me. Sure, we had a great summer together - all six weeks of it, and we even had a handful of good times in the fall. Remember that day we went apple picking and then hiked on Mt. Hood? You were so full of life and promise then. That's what I'll think of when I look back at our relationship.

Now, I know what you're gonna say - "It was just a bad year, Emily, one of the worst of the century. Just give me another year." I know, and I totally believe you, really I do. But there's something else I haven't told you. One particularly bad month when you were sulking around a lot and I couldn't get a kind word from you, well, I started talking to your neighbor. He's the one in the apartment below you. You know - California? I don't know if you know this, but we used to date back before I met you.

When I was with California before, I thought it was just a fun flirtation and that nothing serious could ever come from it. I couldn't see myself committing to that relationship. But then this year when you were so unhappy, California and I started talking again. It was nothing serious at first, and I never thought it would go this far, I swear. He was just so nice to me. I remembered all the good times we had together spending lazy Sunday afternoons at the beach, seeing our favorite authors at book readings, playing movie pictionary with friends who correctly guessed obscure Italian films from the 1940's, and watching Inglourious Basterds in a completely silent crowd of moviegoers at a theater where the costumes from the actual movie were just hanging out in the lobby.

I have realized that I never really got over California. We had our problems, sure, but I know I can move past the traffic and smog if it means I get to go to a theater screening of Spaceballs where Bill Pullman does a Q and A afterward. (Curses! I just missed this.)

I guess what I'm saying is I can see a future with California where I couldn't really see a future with you. I'm willing to put in the effort to see where this relationship goes. He has a sparkle and flame that, when I'm being honest with myself, I never saw in you. You're a great state, really, and I know you'll make someone else very happy, someone else who - how do I put this? - enjoys being depressed all the time. You're just not my state.

Truly, I wish you all the best in the world. Let's still be friends.

- Emily

p.s. This has to be said: You are just the worst driver.

8 comments:

Harrell Hijinks said...

hahahahahaahaha- wishing you a smooth move! with LOTS of sunshine! (will you UPS some warm weather this direction when you get there?)

Rick and Christy Durrance said...

Welcome home Emily! Welcome home!

Secret Squirrel said...

Emily-- the postscript is the mantra of every one of us who has ever moved here from out of state. We'll miss you, but if anybody gets it, I get it, baby. Keep in touch.

Love,
Mirand

Audra said...

I absolutely love you.

Elizabeth Glass-Turner said...

I'm glad you were able to take this step. I know I never said this - after all, one wants to be supportive - but I actually always thought you would end up with California. What can I say? I'm a matchmaker.

Lauren Metelski said...

Hey girl! Just found you today!! yeah! I love cyberworld and your wit!
So, I guess you're moving back to CA? Best of luck!

Jamie said...

This was absolutely fantastic! Loved it.

p.s. You should post something today :)

Jess said...

Emily I am in love with your letter to Oregon. Love it!! Miss you!! Jess B