Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Wedlock Gridlock

Greetings All,

We interrupt your lunch hour with this important announcement: I'm giving up my lunch hour to blog today, just to catch you up on all things wedding. (Men, I'm sure you've been waiting for this.) You see, when I get home from work I usually make dinner, eat dinner, clean up dinner, shower, and then work on wedding plans and watch Seinfeld until bedtime. This is my life. This is what I do. If I'm on the computer, then I'm looking up honeymoon spots and cheap flights. Blogging has fallen to the last thing I squeeze in, right behind singing real loud with Jonny (one of our favorite pastimes.)

Here's how things have gone thus far: We got engaged on December 12; friends started visiting town on December 15; last friend left town on January 11. During that December to January friends visiting period, I got that whole attire thing under control with the help of said visiting friends. We ordered the bridesmaid dresses in a 15-minute online shopping spree before church one Sunday. That went like this:

Ashley: "Hey, Emily, do you like this dress? The fabric is great."
Me: "Yes, I do. All right. Let's go for it."
Add 6 to shopping cart. Continue to checkout. Checkout.

Then we got the wedding dress, which was a fun process. It went like this:
Starts with looking at pictures online.
"Jonny, do you have any preferences or expectations?"
"Nope. You can wear a bikini if you want to. In fact, do that, please."
"Then how about I wear something like this?"
"That's fine."
"Baby, it's bright blue."
"It's blue and humongous and covered in bows. Are you honestly telling me you're ok with that?"
"UK is on."

Next, go to five different stores.
"Yes, I like this, but maybe it's not my favorite."
"This one would do, but is your wedding dress supposed to just 'do?'"
"I don't want to look like the cake."
"Wait, so you're telling me that I'm not allowed to try anything on?
"Where are my boobs? They're gone."
"Ok, clearly I like this particular style, so let's just stay in that sort of range."
Try on 18 more dresses that look exactly the same.
"Anybody else in the mood for chicken wings?"

Try a new store.
"Ok, all of these are fantastic. Why did I go anywhere else?"
"Whaddyaknow? This one really is the one. I didn't think that actually happened to women who don't like pink."
And there you have it. I have a dress.

We don't know what the men will be wearing, but they won't be in suits or tuxes. I think that's all we need know for now.

The Location: That one created a huge switch because we were originally planning to have a beach wedding on August 1. Well, it turns out that August 1 is in the exact middle of peak season, both for beaches and for honeymoons, therefore the cost was about 10 times the amount it should have been. We were looking to rent a big ol' beach house for a day or two, and a day or two is affordable in low season.* In August, you have to rent everything for an entire week, and for that week you may choose to pay with cash or with your right arm, left earlobe, and an inch of your midsection. We chose to move the wedding date to low season. Now, we're getting married on May 15, and hey! that's two and a half more months of married life we just bought ourselves. Good deal! Good deal! Not only that, but we'll probably be moving in August. Had we gone forward with the August 1 date, we would've returned from our honeymoon to pack a U-Haul and immediately hit the road. Now we get a few more months to adjust to married life before we have to adjust to a new state.

Food: Jonny's mom is taking care of all the food arrangements, and I can only say that this is good news for attendees. Also, we'll be using Jack's BBQ sauce, the greatest BBQ sauce in all the land. Mmmmmmm. Jaaaaaack's.

Cake: Yohan is making the cake, and he just practiced one of the layers last week. May I just say that the layer of lime cake with coconut white chocolate filling shall be mine and mine alone. You may not have any. Mine.
And I don't even like cake.

Music: We've gone back and forth and forth and back about music for the wedding. If we were getting married in a big, ornate church, I would definitely walk down the aisle to the Corpse Bride theme played on an organ, no matter how morbid that sounds. It's a gorgeous piece - just doesn't work for the beach. The recordings of the theme come from the movie, so it includes dialogue in the music. The song doesn't even end, really; it just trails off into dialogue. Too bad, because I really like that song. Next, I proposed the New Pornographers' Bleeding Heart Show for the processional because I love the way the song builds and triumphs. Then I read the lyrics and discovered that it's about a break-up. So that's out. We're now considering other songs, but we have yet to agree on something. This is a small detail, so I'm not really that worried.

Photography and videography: check.

Honeymoon: Oh my gosh, we've spent so many hours trying to find a place, and we've changed our minds just about every day. I would tell you what we're considering, but I'm sure it will change tomorrow and become irrelevant, so I'm not going to bother.

Invitations: Yikes. This is the last major thing to do, and I've had a lot of trouble doing it. Trying to find an affordable invitation with enough room for extra info was a nightmare. I gave up, and now I'm designing it myself with Audra's (la MOH) help. The extra info will go on a website, and the invitation will be bare bones.

That's it. That's where we are. I think this has been a major period of growth for me, because I've been forced to make decisions, sometimes even quickly.

I hope to return to blogging regularly soon, but it won't happen until the invitations are out and the honeymoon is booked. Maybe I can convince my boss to make lunch two hours long. "Sorry, Boss, but I can't digest my food unless I take five minutes per bite." It's sure to work. Sure! Muahahahahahahaha! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Muahaha - I'm done.

*See my definition of "affordable," not my father's.


Natalie said...

What if the wedding party whistled Dixie as you walked down the aisle? Or will it be a sand dune?

Regarding the honeymoon, we might be able to get you some cheap accomodations. Where are you thinking of going? I vote for Hawaii. Maui if you want a lot of fun activities and Kauai if you jusst want to chill. Seriously, drop us an email...we may be able to hook you up.

Elizabeth Glass-Turner said...

Emily, inquiring liturgists want to know: who's doing the ceremony? Premarital counseling? are you using traditional vows, kind of traditional vows, or hastily-written last minute sweet nothings? What liturgy are you using? United Methodist? Color-by-number, make your own? Episcopal? Voodoo? Please tell me it's not voodoo. Between "Corpse Bride" and a voodoo bride doll, you might have to move the wedding to N'ahleans and serve cajun on the buffet.

Emily said...

Bitty, our dads are doing the ceremony. My dad is doing the vows (traditional; maybe beefed up a bit - I don't know), and Dr. Ffil is doing the greeting and maybe some other stuff. U.M.

We asked Ffil the other night if he'd be able to get through it without completely breaking down. He said he might be able to keep it together just so long as we didn't do anything extra to make him cry. Then I sang Sunrise, Sunset, forgetting most of the lyrics, and the tears streamed down his face. This ought to be fun.

Counseling: we don't know yet, but we're going to ask our pastor this weekend.