Friday, October 10, 2008

The Pun Master

Update: Angie announced last night that she was a "sci-fi-entist." I promptly smacked her, but secretly I was excited because she confirmed numbers 6 and 8 for me.

She has been a soft drink machine filler, a real estate agent, an EMT, a house flipper, Miss Flame of Indiana, an actress, an artist, and a volunteer firefighter. She's Angie, and she's one crazy housemate.

I first met Angie maybe five years ago. Her cousin is an old friend of mine, and I noticed her at his wedding because she was wearing a dress that I also owned. I said to myself, "Hey, that's my dress!" I did not say to myself, "Hey, I think I'll live with her in three years!" There was no premonition, no sign of what was to come. We met. We were cordial. We parted. The end.

Then I went back to college and whoa! my parents moved to Indiana. They settled in a cute house kind of in the country, and I went to live with them during summer break after my sophomore year of college. I knew no one in that area, and really there was no one near the house to know. A typical day that summer went something like this: work, garden, read, dinner, cards with family, tv, sleep. Then the next day would go: work, garden, read, dinner, cards with family, tv, sleep. Repeat.

I love my family and I'm happy to spend time with them, but 90 days straight with no one my age to talk to? That gets rough. There was a group of college-aged people at my church, but they already had established friendships and modes of operation. We went out a few times, but nothing really clicked.

And then there was Angie. Angie lived in Indiana at the time, and she just so happened to go to my church. Every time I saw her she screamed, "Emily!" and came running to hug me. Yep, I liked Angie, and I was so thankful for her friendship that summer. A couple years later I moved to Kentucky, and then Angie moved to Kentucky. We settled in a house together, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Here are some fun facts about Angie.
  1. She can give you the make and model of any passing car. It's a fun game, except I can't actually play along with her and I don't actually know when she's wrong.
  2. She keeps moisturizer and drywall screws in the same cabinet. Last Saturday I got angry with myself because I needed a flathead screwdriver. I had already used one that day and then (stupid me!) put it back in its place in the shed. When I needed it later that night I didn't feel like walking all the way out to the shed in the dark to retrieve my screwdriver, so naturally I did what any normal person would do. I looked in Angie's bathroom cabinet and found the necessary implement next to her toothbrush. Because screwdrivers and teeth go together so well.
  3. She reads the Illiad to herself and the Hobbit to her seven-year-old son.
  4. She rearranges the furniture a minimum of every two months. No kidding. To Angie, keeping the furniture in one place for a quarter of a year makes about as much sense as drinking coffee without coconut creamer. She just doesn't do it.
  5. She welcomes everyone to the house all the time. If you exist, you're welcome to come on in. I love this about her. Hospitality is certainly one of Angie's gifts, and she uses it regularly.
  6. She also uses the gift of puns. She was born with it, but she has also spent years developing it into something truly grand. I've never seen someone so adept at using double meanings, and I've never groaned so much in my life.
  7. You know those wind-up chattering teeth things? Angie can wind up her entire body and then chatter across the living room floor. I've never seen anything quite like it. She also excels at shimmying.
  8. Angie is a huge nerd. She likes Star Trek and Star Wars and Battlestar Firefly Willow (or something like that).
  9. She's never content to stay still, which is something I'm always trying to get her to do.
  10. She makes a killer apple pie.
  11. Her art is beautiful. I'll post a link to her artwork whenever she actually gets a site up for it.
  12. She has remodeled or redone just about every room in our house.
Finally, she really scares me sometimes, like when she's being the limbless crazy couch lady. Shudder.


audra.marie said...

i love that angie yoder, puns and all.

i don't, however, like couch lady. she makes me want to hide in a corner.

Elizabeth Glass-Turner said...

So, so, sew funny...
Don't forget, she can also paint one cute carrot, per the instructing artist at the Oxford workshop...
But then, she also wants to paint me nude, so, (shrug), potayto, potahto.

Anonymous said...

bless you for the laugh!!! i feel a sudden urge to get to know angie! :)