Thursday, September 4, 2008

Bob Loblaw

Dear Erin (that's my sister, to the rest of you),

Today started out as one of those no good, very bad days. It's ok now, but I think my spirits would be lifted even further if you called me up to read to me about Percival Pinkerton and his refusal to Poo Poo at the Zoo. I also wouldn't object to a Barbie house made entirely from paperbacks, hot water bottles, and tin foil. Thank you.

Your loving sister,
Emmy Woo

A week ago, I blogged my morning routine for your viewing pleasure. That's a pretty boring thing to write about, so I don't know how pleasurable it actually could have been to you. Anyway, today I broke my morning routine. I broke it by sleeping through my alarm while it was going off for at least 10 minutes. That's right. It buzzed in my ear for 10 minutes, but I didn't wake up to it. Instead, I incorporated it in my dream as a beeping trashcan in an elementary school. No matter how hard I looked, the janitor was nowhere to be found, and the front office personnel was less than helpful with finding the Off switch. When I finally awoke and silenced the beastly gong, I only had six minutes to get to work. I made it in eight.

So that's how the day started. The rest of the day went something like:
the printer won't print
the paper folder won't fold
we're out of stamps
this file is incompatible
that file is too big
there's not enough money
these are in the wrong order
those would be in the right order if they were exactly the opposite of how they are


To preserve my sanity, the rest of the day decided to have mercy on me. It allowed me to make myself a delicious, meaty sandwich for dinner and to follow that up with a comforting cup of darjeeling made by Boyfriend. Boyfriend also bought me a pint of Key Lime Pie ice cream from Bruesters. Wow. Wow. We took to it with a spoon and a bib. Ok, to be entirely honest with you, the bib was just hyperbole.

And then came one of those surprising comforts - Football.
Football a comfort?
To you, Emily?
To you?

Yep. To me. I've grown to like it a whole darn lot in the last 2 years, and maybe someday I'll grow to love it. For the last two summers I've experienced a new and strange sensation - a longing for football season. It's just so exciting. Going for it on 4th and 1, the fake punts, the rivalries, the 2-minute drills, the heartaches, the triumphs! It's grand, I tell you, grand.

So football is back, and it comforts me on these no good, very bad days. Now if only it could take care of fleas, too.


Bitty said...

What if there were tiny flea shotguns? A flea hunting blind? A flea hunting season with flea hunting licenses?

What if fleas dressed up in charming hats, like mice in childrens' books? I've never seen a childrens' book on fleas.

What if fleas and lice are in a gang war, and the fleas are called like "Quincinearo F's" and the lice are like "LL Lice explosives."

And THAT, ladies and gents, is why gangs don't hire me to name them.

AND, what if, when I type in the word verification for this comment, the web page responds, "hi Bitty. I'm Tom Riddle."

guess who said...

Er...moving on from Elizabeth's comment...I would like to express my joy in triumph. My girlfriend likes football. What a ways, have come.

Anonymous said...

Yes! Emily Jones had become a football fan! Yes! We should do fantasy the next hour!

Six in the Mix said...

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeese become a michagan fan.


And you'd better or else.