Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Green Thumbprint

I have killed two spider plants. I'll allow that to digest for just one moment.

I can blame both deaths on cats, on neglect, on hyper-attention, and on a combination of all three. Both spider plants were shoots from my sister's plant, which, in turn, was a shoot from my grandmother's plant, and my sister, my mom, and my grandma have all managed to grow beautiful plants from that original. You see, my first one was doing...ok...until a cat decided to munch on it. Then it was doing not so ok. And then it shriveled up and surrendered its spirit. I might have also, ahem, overwatered it a bit.

The second plant started with such promise. My sister gave it to me last Christmas, another shoot from the daughter plant of my grandmother's plant (you follow?), and my sister even presented it to me in its own beautiful blue pot. My former failure of a plant was in a little tupperware-ish ice cream container. The new spider plant was just splendid for several months. I took it in and out of sunlight, I fed it Miracle Gro-enriched distilled water on a careful schedule, and I checked on it daily just to ask it how its day had gone. I loved it, and it tolerated me. Then one day, the cat, a different cat in a different house from before, ate it. Pete just chewed it down to nubs. I considered chewing Pete down to nubs, but decided against it at the last moment. He has fleas, after all.

Emotionally destroyed, I vowed to never grow (<-- split infinitive) a plant again (read "a-gane"). When I recovered from my grief a few weeks later, I thought to myself, "Perhaps I was a bit hasty about swearing off the gardening forever. I still have the pot, after all. I'll make a fresh start. I shall overcome this. I shall!"

A few days later, one of my housemates accidentally knocked a full-sized stage sword onto the pot, smashing Old Blue to bits. I took it as a sign from Heaven and gave up on spider plants, at least for now. I don't have a green thumb - I admit it. I may never successfully grow anything for the rest of my life. Heaven help my children, should they ever actually exist.

So now I see my sister and my mom's pictures of lush plants on their blogs. They play the gardening game with each other, and I just kind of stand on the sidelines, the klutzy kid with the inhaler and the head gear whose only participation points come from shaking hands and calling, "Good game," after the final whistle.

Until now.

A miracle, ladies and gentlemen. A miracle. Technically, it's not my miracle, but I'm going to claim it for myself anyway. You see, last October, Boyfriend and I went to a local orchard to gather pumpkins for Halloween. Here we are being happy and pumpkiny.


We then carved said pumpkins. Mine was Prince John and Sir Hiss. Boyfriend's was Darth Vader (of course). Which do you prefer? Hint: if you vote for mine I'll like you better.



The pumpkins had their heyday on Halloween, and then the candy was gone, the kids assumed their normal identities, and those mysterious costume stores that always spring up every September went away to whatever mysterious costume store land they go to for the rest of the year. Boyfriend and I left the pumpkins in Boyfriend's front yard, even though it was traditional pumpkin smashing time. We did this not out of compassion for the forsaken squash, but out of pure laziness. Pure. Laziness.

And thanks to our total irresponsibility, Boyfriend now has this in his otherwise barren front yard.



That's right. I have a garden. Ok, so technically it's from Boyfriend's pumpkin and it's in Boyfriend's front yard, but I'm claiming this victory for myself anyway. I was there for the whole pumpkin choosing, carving, and neglecting time. It's redemption, and it's sweet. Now Erin, how's abouts another spider plant?

5 comments:

Bitty said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA

Ahhh...

What a ridiculous place for a pumpkin patch.

Please - I beg you - grab a blankie and wait for the Great Pumpkin this fall. I want to photograph you waiting with a blue blanket by the pumpkin patch.

Pleeeeeease.

The C said...

Will you be destroyed if I obliterate the small pumpkin patch in front of Jonny's house?

After all.... I don't like pumpkins because I am evil!

Six in the Mix said...

Yea for the green thumb! Nicely placed pumpkin plant to the side and front of the porch.

I vote for King John and Sir Hiss. Sorry, Jonny, gotta love Star Wars, but it says Darth Maul to me, not Vader.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you need to watch the films again, Erin.

Anonymous said...

That picture doesn't do it justice either! It's too dark. Mine played on subtlety and minimalistic light techniques! You can't even tell that its supposed to be Darth from the side because its so dark.